Posts by Sail Away

50

My mother says I should just DA already.

by Julia Orwell in

cut the cord.

sever all ties.

start new.. and she's right.

Sail Away

Julia, your art is simply exquisite, please focus on that as it is healing. Let the things that are making you feel less than adequate and stressing you out go. It's time to take care of yourself. Work on why it is that what other people think of you (JWs and former co-workers) has such power to hurt you. I understand the feeling that everything we do isn't good enough or isn't worth the effort. That is JW programming-- it's the whole everything is "vanity and striving after the wind" thing. I still struggle with that.

I wrote a DA letter, but didn't mail it. That felt good. I also really like the idea of the letter of resignation that was posted here on this forum. It's something to do preemptively without playing by their rules. Do what rebel8 said and block JWs from your life-- disfellowship them! I also worked very hard at deprogramming myself. One thing still on my list of 50 Ways to Leave your Cult is to donate blood. I need to make time to do that.

I'm glad you are looking into therapy. I have a Buddhist therapist. I really like the perspective of Buddhist psychology. I read a lot of books, listened to CDs and took a few online classes by Insight Mediation Society teachers like Jack Kornfield, Sharon Salzburg, Jack Goldstein and Tara Brach. The Interdependence Project in NY City is a good resource for online secular Buddhist teachings. I belong to a local Insight Meditation Society Sangha (community) associated with Yale University and have met some amazing people there.

http://www.dharma.org/

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1CHFX_enUS576US576&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=interdependence+project

Books and recordings that helped me:

Radical Self-Acceptance, by Tara Brach

The Wise Heart: A guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology, by Jack Kornfield

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, by Pema Chodron.

ETA:

https://www.edx.org/course/science-happiness-uc-berkeleyx-gg101x#.VMex92jF8b0

Watch inspirational talks at https://www.ted.com/talks

24

St John's wort

by wannaexit in

st john's wort is accepted by the medical literature for use in mild to moderate depression.

.

if anybody is using it could you share your experiences with it?

Sail Away

rebel8
There are lots of free, safe things that help a sad mood. Have you tried these? Avoid alcohol and depressants, exercise, stop isolating yourself, start a project you enjoy and stick to doing a little bit daily, don't use tobacco, talk therapy, get enough sleep, meditate, eat healthy, laugh.
Fake it 'til ya make it. Do this stuff even if you don't feel like it, and your mood will lighten.

St. John's wort is nothing to play with. In cases of major depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia is is known to cause mania, and increase cycling between depression and mania in bipolar disorder.

I agree with everything rebel8 said, it worked for my severe, recurrent clinical depression and PTSD. I don't have bipolar disorder, but did experience what is called hypo-mania with St. John's wort. The only thing I would add to the list is daily tai chi/qigong and/or yoga. I practice both. It is important to move everyday and get out in the sun to increase vitamin D or take a quality supplement. My M.D. is a fan of Innate Response Formulas which are "Clinical Whole Food Nutrients". I take 2000 mg of Vitamin D3 daily, because without it my levels take a dive. I have been prescription medication free for a year, and I'm not depressed. My anxiety levels are better than they have been in decades.

The best thing any JW can do for anxiety and depression is STOP going to those damn meetings!

20

East Coast Blizzard 2015

by breakfast of champions in

jw
friends

where we're at, we won't get it as bad as nyc, long island or new england.

even so, my university is closed until wednesday morning, and we're expecting well over a foot of snow.. anyone else out there "hunkering down"?.

Sail Away

We woke up to 18 inches of snow, and it's still coming down, but the worst of the storm is winding down. Hubby is out with the snow plow now. It's still blowing out there, but he can move the bulk of the snow from the driveway and let the dog out-- she is having a blast. I really think Connecticut is in pretty good shape. Maybe we learned some things from the blizzard of February, 2013.

The governor put a travel ban in effect at 9PM last night, so there are very few car accidents and stranded motorists. The National Guard is at the ready and there are 40 electric company crews from as far away as Canada available to deal with power outages. The power companies have been on a mission to clear the lines of overhanging limbs since we've had two major hurricanes and now two blizzards since 2011.

Many thanks to the DOT crews that worked through the night and to all the first responders that help keep us safe.

20

East Coast Blizzard 2015

by breakfast of champions in

jw
friends

where we're at, we won't get it as bad as nyc, long island or new england.

even so, my university is closed until wednesday morning, and we're expecting well over a foot of snow.. anyone else out there "hunkering down"?.

Sail Away

We're looking at about two feet of snow here in coastal Connecticut. I am a New Englander, born and raised. You won't catch me in the store the day of a storm stocking up on staples. What a bunch of crazies! We're here for the duration.

They are predicting thunder and lightning, gusting winds and whiteout conditions tonight. That should be interesting. We have a generator, a fireplace and wood pile and a snow blower. The last time we had three feet of snow, we were home for a week. Argh! I just want to be plowed out by next Tuesday, because we are headed out to meet our new grand son. My daughter and her husband had their first baby! They live in Central America.

19

Interview With an Apostate by Village Idiot

by Village Idiot in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.

got myself in at age 13. one day i saw a leaflet on my door about babylon the great condemned by god and thats all it took.

i mailed a letter to the congregation listed on the flyer requesting a book study.

Sail Away

Thank you too for your welcome Sail Away. I'm sorry to hear about your son. Was his attempted suicide related to any Watchtower issues? Is your daughter completely out of The Lie?

Yes, my son's suicide attempt was Watchtower related. His JW childhood sweet heart and wife left him for another man and had a baby with that man while still married to my son. No one would have seen this coming in a million years. He did everything by the JW book. She just didn't want the JW life any more and blew the marriage up. The elders gave my son a year to get his act together. It took six years. He is still single, and is doing well. He just got back from visiting his sister, her husband and their brand new baby boy. I'm a gramma now!

Our entire family, except my nearing 90-year-old uber-dub in-laws, are completely out of The Lie with no intention of ever returning. Life is good. Thanks for asking.

19

Interview With an Apostate by Village Idiot

by Village Idiot in

tell us a little about yourself and your family.

got myself in at age 13. one day i saw a leaflet on my door about babylon the great condemned by god and thats all it took.

i mailed a letter to the congregation listed on the flyer requesting a book study.

Sail Away

Welcome, Village (clearly not an) Idiot! Well done on extracting yourself at an early age. I was in much the same situation as you. In 1967 My dad accepted a bible study for our entire family when I was nine years old. They all discontinued, because my mom violently opposed. She said no one was going to come into her home and tell her what to do (smart woman, bat sh*t crazy, but smart). Anyway, I was the only one to continue on. I essentially raised myself in The Lie. I determined at age ten that I was going to be a JW and was baptized at age 16 when my father finally felt I was old enough to make that decision. I gave up a college scholarship to "pioneer where the need is great".

I have so many regrets. I married young as most good JWs who marry do. I married a former full-time pioneer, Bethelite and ministerial servant who faded when our daughter was two and a half years old. I raised my little girl and my son in The Lie. My daughter "respectfully declined" a shepherding call when she was 17 years old and went away to college. My son tried to commit suicide and was subsequently disfellowshipped. I didn't wake up until I was 52 years old! Starting over is hard, but it can be done. Please try to re-frame how you think about yourself. You are a survivor, not the "walking wounded".

Again, Welcome!

97

Just ask simple questions and make street witnesses move along

by OnTheWayOut in

you don't have to know much to talk to jw's and show them they don't want to really discuss the matters.they consider a discussion on the matter they are pushing to be "confrontational.".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfw_txpmsj8.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lqtadagucq.

Sail Away

Sail away, I respectfully could not disagree more. When i was a believeing dubbie i would have welcomed a chance to fairly discuss in the maner the first video presented. It would have been an excellent witness and a chance to represent the goodnews in fromt a wide audience. Perhaps its a bit different in the sense that when you give talks you assume you are being recorded and such anyway and i grew accustomed to it, but i wouldnt mind my son being recorded. I always understood that when i stepped into public i was "on stage before men and angels". These people purposly choose the most public places to witness! They do volume studies to ensure there is suffient foot traffic to justfy putting a cart there. Its simply unrealistic to think there is any expectation of 'privacy' (as the one young witness claimed) or that in these very purposly public places that you are not 'on the record' so to speak. --Morpheus

Morpheus, I understand where you are coming from, but I do think that the JWs of today are a different breed. I knew my scriptural and doctrinal points backwards and forwards and could defend my beliefs. Clearly the man in the first video was not a thinking man. These JWs wanted to disengage. They were walking away. Did you not notice that they seemed to have a handler, in effect, a supervisor who shut things down when he didn't like the way things were going? They couldn't have said what they were really thinking under this circumstance even if they wanted to.

Of course the organization puts these carts in high-traffic areas. That only makes sense. It is not the rank and file JW that is making that decision. Have you considered the possibility that there are JWs who are waking up to TTATT or who are trapped born-ins who are doing this type of street work to just put in their time in the easiest way possible until they can make their way out? There are dozens of these who are posting on Reddit.com every week. It is sad.

Further, children are not born with critical thinking skills. I think it is reasonable to expect that people of their age under undue influence may not have developed such skills. I maintain that if the motive to help wake up a JW, recording them and putting it up on YouTube is not the way to go. It is unkind at best.

97

Just ask simple questions and make street witnesses move along

by OnTheWayOut in

you don't have to know much to talk to jw's and show them they don't want to really discuss the matters.they consider a discussion on the matter they are pushing to be "confrontational.".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfw_txpmsj8.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lqtadagucq.

Sail Away

I understand wanting to wake these young adults up. They are clearly indoctrinated and under mind control. They are not thinking. What I have a problem with is recording this and putting it up on YouTube. I would not want this done to me or to my two children when they were still in-- how embarrassing! We were all once there. I don't think it is effective to put these JWs on apostate red alert. It will only push them further in. Please rethink this and show some compassion and kindness. The ex-JW maintained his anonymity. That privilege was not afforded these young JWs.

53

Need to vent: Wife just went in full cult mode, huge fight. she is so brainwashed

by goingthruthemotions in

jw
friends

out of the blue my wife started to ask me about my feeling about the borg.

i told her i didn't want to talk about it...she persisted.

she already knows how i feel, i told her that my biggest beef is that they use mind control, and yep she went in to how i was an apostate and how she doesn't want to be married to an apostate.

Sail Away

goingthroughthemotions, I am truly sorry for your pain. I have been where your wife is right now, and I promise you she is hurting too. You, your wife and your marriage are all fighting the death grip of the WTBTS. I wrote this article a couple of years ago to explain my thought process when I was still a JW and married to my husband who had left the organization long before I did. Perhaps this will help in some way. That is my hope. Here is the link:

http://aawa.co/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/How-to-Stay-Married-to-Your-JW

NB: I meant no offense by the title to my article when referring to my JW spouse simply as a JW. I did not know this article would end up searchable in Google, but there you have it.

Sail Away

47

I'm at a loss at how to get thru to my parents. I fear they will die before they will stop shunning me.

by cognisonance in

all i want is this: for us to be a family, to spend time together enjoying life.

i don't wish to debate about their beliefs when together.

they can remain jws for all i care.

Sail Away

ToesUp, thank you for your kind words. At this point I believe the most important thing for our family is to break the cycle of abuse. Unconditional love is the only way forward. For me it is important that I not let other people's thoughts or behaviors define who I am or change my behavior. Ultimately, that's what got me out of the organization.